Random stuff that a random guy randomly posts to that random place called Internet. How random.
maanantai 1. syyskuuta 2014
”Dude, I totally need to sleep...”
7 o` clock. It was time to wake up, and her alarm clock made sure of it. It ringed, and the cacophonic music it made, forced her eye lids to open. Barely. She slammed the clock to quiet it down. She closed her eyes again. She layed on her bed for a few minutes, knew that she had to rise from her comfy, yet extremely unhygienic sheets, soon. She forgot to.
After 4 minutes, the clock rang again. She slammed it again.
This was repeated for 5 times until she rose extremely slowly, while at the same time cursing the necessary snooze alarm.
She dragged her (currently) barely alive, yellow Homo Sapiens Sapiens-like body to the bathroom and emptied six of her nine bladders.
She rinced her face with icy water to wake up.
Then she went to the kitchen. Made a smoothy of her toe nails, cat hair, moldy yogurt, bones and fresh Passion fruit (she put that incredient in to the blender by accident). She drank it, was repulsed by the fruits taste but swallowed it nonetheless.
She expressed her disgust. ”Ghaahg!” Then she rinced her mouth with water, and drank tainted ape blood to get rid of the awful taste.
She brushed her teeth.
She took of her turquoise night gown. She doesn`t need a bra, because she has extremely small breasts, so she didn`t put them on. Then she put on her panties, stockings, socks, jeans, contact lenses, long sleeved woolen shirt, woolen trousers, warm gloves and full body armor with a hood that disguises her face completely (even she has no idea why she wears it). Then her jacket and boots. She stepped outside of her okay flat.
It was a cold (-5), grey day. It was raining very wet snow. She cursed again, for 11 whole minutes. She hates the soggy kind of snow.
She walked on and after 10 minutes she arrived to the city center, where a few silent beings (four humanoids, three unicorns and seven internet trolls) were minding their own business. A familiar (to her) figure was sitting in the bench next to the water fountain that portrayed Wally West, the Third Flash (Who had once saved the world of this story from certain doom. But you haven`t read that story. I`m pretty sure nobody has.).
The figure said: ”Hello to you Royranain. Good mo-”
The robot saw the humanoids facial expression with it`s night vision. It wasn`t a delighted expression. Hence the change in his dialogue.
”I mean, adjectiveless morning.”
Royranain slunk to the bench, and uttered to her robotic friend.
”Dude, I totally need to sleep...”
”Those bags beneath your eyes do imply that you do.”
”Quit being a smartass.”
”You know I can`t, due to my programming.” The robot said with no emotion in its voice at all. Which doesn`t mean that it would be impossible, to notice the sarcastic tone that it placed atop its words.
”Shuddup.” She said, and placed a tired tone atop of her words.”You know, last night, I bet I didn`t even get an hour of...YAAAAAAWN...sleep...”
”Do you want the traditional pick-me-up?”Asked Serial number 45686805345.
The robot pointed it`s hand to Royranains direction.
”Tha-tha-that-thanks!” Stuttered Roy.
”You`re welcome carbon based lifeform.”
Three minutes passed.
”It`s wearing off...” Roy muttered.
”Too bad.” Said Serial number.
She didn`t reply
There started to be more silent beings walking around the square (surrounded by wooden cottages that looked exactly the same).
”I saw a dream last night.” Said the robot.
”Whut was it about this time...?” She said, her eyes closed.
”Everyone on this square except for you shall die after a few minutes.”
”Okay then. It was nice knowing you.”She said.
”Be whoever you like to be.”
For a minute, it was quiet.
”Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...I`m so qrhhnhdfbjvnmffjkfjfn tired!”
”I wonder if I have feelings...I sometimes feel that I do. But, if I do have them, I should be panicking right now. Shocked at the very least. But...maybe I don`t feel those emotions.” The robot pondered.
”Yeah...Maybe...” She said, not really caring what the hell the metallic lifeform was saying.
She forced herself to rise up, scretched and uttered:
”Well, of to work, to the old pickle jar factory.”
”I doubt it.”
Roy was going to throw a smart quip, when suddenly...
Was it really-
Yes...it was. A sand storm was coming closer and closer to the village.
”SANDSTORM!!!!”She (and someone else, in the distance) yelled.
Everyone rushed inside the cottages.
”Wont help.” Said 45686805345.
”Will you cut that crap out! Let`s go inside!”
The storm was 15 miles away.
”It would help, if that would be a sandstorm. But it`s actually an army constisting of 99,999,999,999,999,999 flying titanium Minotaurus`s. We`re so Goddamn doomed.”
Roy listened to the robot, which stood up and took it`s seven laser guns to its seven hands, and said, almost half asleep.
Then she said.
”Please dude...don`t say that. If you say that, I...I need to get you some help...because you really believe that the storm there, consists of mythical creatures...”
”What I described to you isn`t all that impossible in a universe where anything is possible.”
The bot handed Roy a portable telescope.
”Why should I look at a mere sand storm?” She asked, trying to hide the fact that she was afraid to look at this particular mere sandstorm, that might not be a mere sandstorm at all.
The droid gazed a long, irritated look at her.
Roy un-portabled the telescope, and looked trough the lens.
She saw various Flying Minotaurus`s purely consisting of titanium. They were 10 miles away.
”Such multitasking. You staggered and dropped the telescope, while screaming that particular word.”
”For chrissakes shut up and hand me a rifle!!!”
”I`m using all of my arms.” Robot held guns in all its hands.
Rory grabbed a rifle from the robots back.
She breathed heavily.
She was more scared than she had ever been before. She felt awkward to ask it, but she knew she had to.
”Why...why are we holding these?”
”We`ll try to destroy as many of those as possible. The less there are, the less lifes they can destroy. Of course, a few isn`t much, but it`s better than nothing.”
”A-(snif)aha...” She said, sobbing, tears flowing down her cheeks. Mucus down her nose.
”Goodbye Roy. I enjoyed your refreshingly nettling persona.”
The robot thought: Lack of sleep makes her a very emotional person, apparently.
I have to save her. After all, she is my only friend who is still alive. I`d like to keep her that way.
The heroic robot remembered something it hadn`t thought about in years. According to the myths, Flying titanium Minotaurus`s had a code of honor, to never kill anyone who was sleeping. The bot, unfortunately, cannot sleep, or even load it`s batteries in sleep like manner. But...then again, it didn`t really care. What it cared about was, as noted previously, saving Roys life.
The robot decided to do so by playing a fitting, peaceful song via its iPod.
While listening to it, Roy started to fall asleep. ”Huh...?” She muttered askingly. After listening to it for 26 seconds, she was snoring. The horrifying horde zoomed towards the silently standing robot. The army was a hunred meters away. It aimed the guns at them, and started firing. Dozens of anthropomorphic creatures soon noticed that they had large holes in them. After these realisations, they kicked the buckets. In less than half a minute, they reached the outer cottages that surrounded the square. In a minute, the cottages were toothpicks and sawdust. The lone protagonist made of steel-copper uttered its last words, while still firing the guns. ”Holy motherfu-” GRABUNZASHANKLE-CLANK!!!! Then it was gone. The army goed on, destroying the square (including the water fountain). Then the village (14 persons ( Roy not included )were sleeping, and they were all spared, even if it was very difficult to do). Then the other village that was close to it. Then the city that was close to it. They didn`t know why they did that, but they just did. They almost completely ignored (they noticed her, then ignored her) Roys silent figure. And even if the decibels and tremors around her were magnificent, she hadn`t awoken. That tired she was. 14 hours passed. She woke up. Opened her eyes. Layed there. The time was 20 o` clock now. She looked around her. These are the words she uttered. ”...” ”No...” ”Everything...” ”Every single thing...” ”Serial number 45686805345...He saved me...” After 20 minutes, she spoke again. ”Why do I feel so guilty?” ”...” ”Must be that survivors quilt I read about...” ”My home is gone...” There she layed, on the ground, in her heavy costume. Thinking what to do next. Then she started to cry again. She cried for fife minutes. Then she walked away from the spot. Still crying. She joined the 13 other survivors. They banded together, and went on their way to find food, shelter, liquids, more people and some kind of sense in the world. They found very little of all of that, and died after 10 years, in a world almost completely ravaged by those bloody Minotaurus dudes and dames. When the eternal sleep started to come for Roy, she hoped it would mean precisely that. Eternal sleep.
This was actually our metalloid protagonists first appearance. But there was this chick who wanted more of him, and I wanted to write more of him. What happened in the between the previous and this chapter, I have no idea (except that, Serial nro. had an amnesia, it seems). Because I`ve lost interest. It feels troubling to me, how I keep quitting stories I write before I`ve even really started. If my fates be merciful, I`ll get over those problems ASAP. By that, I mean 1-3 years. Tops. Bye, Serial, Ekobo, Royranain, Minotaurs, the inconveniently noticeable criminal, the sidecharacters who got little attention, the caterpillar and girlfriend, the monster who killed them, the liquorice lady, the Quarli man...Maybe I`ll use a few of you again, eventually. If not, have fun. Enjoy your lifes. Do something with them. Inspire others. Become energy that enables harmonious action. By which I mean ACTION.
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