But I`d want to kick all of their fucked up memories to abyss. They`d still be fairly the same, I hope. Maybe I`d do it anyway, I hope. I was so frustrated a few minutes ago so listened to Heavy metal (liked this the best: https://soundcloud.com/adultswimsingles/from-the-kettle-to-the-coil) and screamed words that goed about like this: FUCK YOU ALL THE RAPISTS AND MURDERERS AND ASSHOLES AND LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE!!!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS GO FUCK YOURSELFS COULDN`T YOU JUST HAVE HAD BEEN HAPPY?! I`LL KILL YOU EVERYONE!!!!! I yelled with a loud raspy voice and also scremed highpitchedly. I don`t wanna kill everyone, but I`d just want everyone to be happy and why can`t we defeat our programming and just be happy and when I say stuff like this, why must so many dismiss my words? Or am I exaggerating? I don`t remember reactions people have when I say these things. Or do I? Do I say these things to `em? I should. Anyway, they`re pretty neutral when I say things that are pretty close to these words. But I want them to say: I want that too, let`s build the utopia and achieve everything that is good and have adventures. I want to create a world like that, and though even THAT is difficult, I can do so with stories I make.
I want you guys to be happy. Want me to be happy. All the insecurities and bad deeds done towards you and those you`ve done to others...let`s eraticate them. Or maybe see the good in them and stay as those wonderful ourselves we have become du to them and good things. You creatures are so pretty and interesting in every way and I want to like you all I want to transfer myself in to some kind of external cosmic state of biotangents. Even if you would like things I consider petty and useless (to some extent, getting drunk, certain thoughts you make, not because you`ve created them, but `cause they ain`t new, and I know I`m being a selfimposed piece of shit and please someone tell me that and mean it, I want to get better). I want you to do the same. Can`t you bloody hell just fucking do it?! Just do it! I`m not begging you to, I WANT YOU TO DO IT.