It was night. 4 a clock, actually. Chrisso was sleeping. Then he woke up. He was scared, and was mumbling something like this:
"Inkclouds. All over the place. Everywhere."
Then he noticed that he was awake. He sighed of relief. He tryed to sleep again, and after 38 minutes, was asleep already.
Tori was sleeping also. She saw dreams, in what a muscled naked man was very close to her and...Well, lets give her some privacy, okay. She woke up, 4 hours and 15 minutes later, and didn`t remember this dream. Instead, she remembered a dream in which a peacock danced with her in a hall that was upside down, and she was a man. 7 minutes after she had woken up, she remembered that today she was supposed to go out with Chrisso. She smiled a bit, but didn`t actually feel anything else. She made bacon and eggs with orange juice and tea for breakfest. Afterwards, she watched Rosayliennes life with mediocrity (A tedious tv-show that I wouldn`t like, and what hasn`t been broadcasted in this universe). She also watched the news, and was a little worried of these words:
"The new tax-proposal, to add taxes to everyone in Angloland (which is, as you may know, this country, in what Tori, chrisso and many others live), is getting nearer and nearer to confirmation."
Tori didn`t like this one bit. She thought that this tax wouldn`t be confirmed at all, since it`s clearly an absolutely insane tax-proposal. She closed the TV, and walked to laundryroom, in where she folded the dryed up clothes of hers.
But, because I find telling about folding clothes rather tedious, I will instead tell more about this tax. How? By showing you this scene:
It was the year 2010. It was an autumny day, and it was a greyclouded day. Joaguin Fotheswield was walking to "The halls of law". It`s where all the laws of Angloland are confirmed. He was murkyfaced as almost always, even if the law that he made up, was going to be moving closer and closer to completition. He walked to the entrance, where Enslings, his (male)secretery, waited for him.
"Hello, Mr. Fotheswield."
"Hello, Enslings. For your sake, I hope that you have done a good job with this thing."
"(sigh) Yes, sir."
"Don`t call me sir."
They walked to their seats. They sat down, and sat for 23 minutes.
"Why do they always keep us waiting, during these things?" Asked Mr. F.
"Because it takes time for most of the people to be on time." Answered Enslings.
"I know, you idiot."
Then they waited 16 minutes more. Almost everyone were talking. Then it was guiet, because the lawminister walked to the highest chair in "The halls of law". She spoke:
"It`s time to take the overall taxing-proposal of Angloland, in to consideration. Mr. Joaguin Fotheswield, please stand up. "
Mr. F. stood up.
"Mr. Fotheswield, could you tell us, what is the basic idea of this new tax?"
"Yes, your honor." Said Mr. F. partly actually respectingly, mostly not-at-all-respectingly.
"The basic idea of this law, is that if it`s put in to motion, everyone who live in Angloland, will be taxed."
Everyone in the hall were amazed.
"No matter who it is. No matter if you`re rich, poor, crippled...You will have to pay taxes. And that is the basic idea of this tax." He smiled a little, but tried to hide it, so he wouldn`t seem like a monster.
"Could you tell us more of this tax? How much will the citizens have to pay?"
"Very little actually. Only 50 Ghungs (that`s the currency of Angloland) per year." Said Mr. F.
Everyone were suprised.
"Meaning, that you have to pay only 4 Ghungs, and 33 Sittles ( the Cents of Angloland) per month. And if you`re poor, you only have to pay this tax, and nothing else. That`s how, you`ll save money for other expenses, like rent, food and you car. But, when you get enough money to get on your feet, you will have to start paying other taxes as well."
Said Mr. F.
Everyone was silent again*. Lawminister (whose name none must never know, for some reason) looked at Mr. F. , and pondered the words that had came from his mouth. Then she said:
"Well, that is a very good answer, Mr. Fotheswield."
Fotheswield smiled, his eyes stirring.
"Now, it is time for you to tell, how can this law be made possible."
"My secretery, Mr..." Mr. F. looked at Enslings, and awaited him to open his mouth.
"Matheuw." Said Enslings.
"...Matheuw Enslings, will tell everyone of you, how this law, can be made possible."
"Very well, Mr. Fotheswield. You can sit down. Mr. Matheuw Enslings, please stand up, and tell us more about this law." Said Miss Lawminister.
Enslings fiddled his eyeglasses ( yes, he has eyeglasses ) for two seconds, and said:
"Yes, your honor."
Then he started to speak. But because I don`t know how to write how a law works, and don`t want to, we`ll skip that part.
"...and that is how, this law can be put in to action." Said Enslings.
"Thank you, Mr. Matheuw Enslings, for this presentation. Now it is time for the first voting, of this law. Everyone, who oppose, raise their hands**." Many people raised their hands. The official hand counter counted the number of hands.
"I`ve counted almost everyones hands, your honor." Said the hand counter.
"Good. Now, all who are not against this law, raise your hands."
Many more hands were raised. The hand counter counted, a little worried.
"I have now counted everyones hands, your honor."
"What are the results, official handcounter?"
"64 oppose. 78 do not." He said, worried expression on his face.
Lawminister stood up. She spoke.
"This law has gotten pre-approval. Now it is time for a short brake. We will continue dealing with the decision afterwards." She walked down, from her seat, and out of a door, next to it.
Almost everyone around the hall started to speak heatingly. There was shouting, name calling and all kind of other things done in the hall. Someone actually threw a chair. But, Mr. F. didn`t say anything. Instead he smiled, he took his noise nullifiers, and placed them to his ears. He then pushed a button ( placed to every desk ) and refreshments rose from a secret cabin. He poured some guadrunkel-water (water which makes the drinker to see different colours from the entire colour spectre, for 10 minutes per each glassfull ), drank it, and waited for the brake to end. Enslings looked at Mr. F., and he knew that his boss was thinking what evil thing to do next. He pushed the same kind of button that Mr. F had pushed, and took some peppermint candies. He listened to the ridiculous/not-so-ridiculous things that were said/shouted in the hall. Like:
"How did you dare to vote like that!? You`re being a feelingless "¤##¤# !"
"I`ll kill you!"
"Hey, your wife cheating with me has nothing to do with this!"
"Put your shirt back, and jump off from this desk!"
"The fact that you`re calling me with those insulting words, doesn`t give you the right to hit me."
"Why do they never have alcohol in these meetings?"
He sat there, and wondered how he could ever be interested of a job like this. He took a glassfull of guadrunkel-water, put his glasses to the table, and stroked his forehead.
So, let us now go back to this year, 2011.
Chrisso awoke again, and now the time was 10:49. He mumbled to himself:
"I shouldn`t stay up to 02:00 o` clock."
He rose up, and goed to bathroom. He peed, washed his face and hands. He dryed them, and then goed to kitchen. He made toast bread (actually, the toaster made toast bread, but he used the toaster), and took milk and orange juice. He put ham, cheese, cucumbers and olives to the bread. He changed clothes, and ate, while reading "Millions of caterpillars eating anthropologist Howardsonius". It`s a comic, which tells of millions of caterpillars, and their mission, which is to eat anthropologist Howardsonius, or he shall find an artefact that will destroy everything. Chrisso likes books like that. He ate for 16 minutes, and then brushed his teeth.
Then he finished the graphic novel. He found the ending too predictable, and rated the book 4/5. He made his bed, cleaned the living room (he was already supposed to do it 2 days ago), and goed outside, for a walk.
Chrisso walked outside. He walked for minutes, before seeing a small mob. They were yelling:
"Down with the tax! Down with the tax!"
Chrisso didn`t care.
He kept walking.
What has Tori been doing, after she folded her dryed up clothes? Well, she has goed to her working place, which is, as you might remember, a crocery store. It`s called Intro-market, and she has arrived to her working place at 12:01. She has handled the register, put croceries to right places and cleaned up the floor. She has talked to her friends at work, and complained that it`s so boring to work here. She has had her brake, during which she ate a big sandwich with lettuce ( she trys to drop weight, but it`s difficult, because in this universe, dropping weight is even more difficult ). She had done all this, and after 18:00 o` clock (the average working day lasts from 12:00-18:00, in this universe), she goed back home. When she got back home, she started to get ready for her date with Chrisso. She put lipstick to her eyelids (yes, they do so in this universe), drew a little bird to her forehead (that`s what some people do in this universe) and combed he hair. She also did many other things, like cut her fingernails, added some nailpolish to her nails etc. etc. She was doing all of this, but she wasn`t excited. That troubled her. She thought:
"Sure he`s nice. But that`s it. Maybe we shouldn`t go to anymore dates. Yeah, I`ll tell him that. I hope he takes it well. "
Then she realized something.
"Oh no. I forgot to ask WHEN we should meet!"
In fact, this is what happened. I`m sure that you remember it reader. But if you don`t, you can, of course, check it from chapter 2.
"I can`t believe this..."
"I freakin cannot believe this!" Shouted Chrisso (who had been walking outside for over 6 hours). He was now standing in front of a bakery, and remembered, that he doesn`t know when he should meet Tori.
"I didn`t ask when...I seriously cannot believe this..."
"Excuse me..."Said a woman. "But what is it exactly, that you forgot?"
Chrisso looked at her, and noticed that she was the owner of the bakery. She had heard Chrisso shouting, especially because the door was open, a little bit. Chrisso looked at her, and wondered if he should tell of his problem. He decided to do so.
"I...forgot to ask where and when to meet this one person. She forgot to ask where and when to meet me, also. I was supposed to meet her today, but that`s all I know."
"I see. Well, you could phone to him or her."
"Yes, you`re right. But, I don`t have her number, and neither does she have mine."
"Well I could help you. I have a phone book here. And I suspect that you have a phone yourself."
"Oh. Well you can use mine."
"Thank you. That`s so kind."
They went inside the bakery, and the woman took a phone book. Then Chrisso looked at the t-section of the book. Tori had said to Chrisso, what`s her last name, and Chrisso had told Tori his last name also. And so he looked for the name Toriayna Sleft. There were 6 of them. Chrisso took the phone that the woman handed to him, and started to call trough those names.
Toriayna was standing at the living room of the apartment where she lives. She had searched the phonebook for the name Chrisso Edcarious. She was phoning trough the fourth Chrisso Edcarius on the book. Two had answered, and they were both wrong numbers. One hadn`t answered, and now she was phoning for the fourth name. She still would have, 8 names to go. Of course, Tori didn`t know, that she wouldn`t get to contact Chrisso anyway, because Chrisso doesn`t have a phone with him. The fourth name didn`t answer either. She dialed the fifth one, and also sighed loudly. She tapped the desk with her finger.
It had been 10 minutes, and Chrisso still hadn`t found Toris number. He had dialed through three, and knew that he would eventually find Toris number, because the phonebook is filled with local numbers. Suddenly he heard this phrase:
"The caller you are trying to reach, is in middle of another call. Please, await for your turn, without closing the phone."
"Hmmh, maybe this one is hers." Said Chrisso.
"I hope so." Said the baker.
Tori was dialing the fifth number on the phone, when suddenly she heard:
BLING BLIBIBLING BLING! BLING BLIBI BLING BLING!
The number was unknown to her. But she decided to answer it.
"Hello, this is Toriayana Sleft."
"Hey Tori! This is Chrisso."
"Hey! I was trying to call to your number, but none of them was yours."
"Actually, my phone is in my home. I`m calling to you with a phone of a baker."
"Oh, I see. Well, I`m glad that you found my number."
"Me too. Well, anyway, where should we meet and when?"
"Oh, I`m sorry that I forgot to ask you!" Tori said.
"It was my fault too."
"Oh well, we can discuss that later."
"Yeah. But, is..."
Chrisso looked at his wristwatch. It was 18: 45.
"...19:00 a good time. We could meet at the mall."
"Yeah, we could. But I probably don`t get there until...19:10 or so."
"Well, that`s good too. Go to the main entrance. I`ll be sitting at one of the chairs."
"Okay. Well, see ya. Bye." Tori said.
"Bye." Concluded Chrisso.
Tori closed the phone, and put on some clothes. Then she remembered that she has to take many other things with her. She took them, and goed outside, where she started her moped.
When Tori had quit the call, Chrisso had given the phone back to the baker.
Chrisso was about to go outside, but then he thought that he should do something nice for the baker. He looked at all the different pastries, and almost all of them (Chrisso has never liked anything with alot of cream, and he hasn`t liked cheesecakes for years by now) looked tasty. He said to the woman:
"I would like to have two croissants, and a lemon-kiwi muffin, thank you."
"Okay." Said the woman, smiling.
She took the items that Chrisso wanted, put them to a paper bag, which had two sections (a standard paper bag of the universe of this story has a special paper wall on the center of the bag, so that it will separate the items or croceries, if it is of need). She said, after the prodecure:
"That will be 5, 108**, thank you."
Chrisso gave the money to her, and she gave the bag to Chrisso.
"Thank you, and bye bye." Said Chrisso.
"Thank you and bye bye." Said the baker.
Chrisso goed outside, and walked to the mall. It was almost 19:00. He goed to a bookshop, where he bought a little book called "The peculiar adventures of Inar Worsel, part 5". It is a love novel, and Chrisso has all the previous four books. He goed to the main entrance, sat to a bench, and started reading. He also took the cupcake, and started to eat it. He liked the taste of it.
Tori was at the mall at 19:12. She parked the moped at the parking zone, and walked to the entrance. She saw Chrisso sitting in a bench. She walked to him, and Chrisso noticed her.
"Hye." Said Tori.
"Hye." Said Chrisso. "Do you want a croissant?"
She took the croissant. She sat to the bench. And she took a bite of the croissant. Then she munched it. And then Chrisso said:
"Well, maybe we should talk now."
"Yeah." Said Tori, her mouth still a little full.
And talk they did. But that`s a story for another time.
* Almost everyone must be silent in meetings of political importance. Except during breaks.
** In Angloland, all the political, important votings are by counting the hands, that have been raised. The reason why this version of the voting process hasn`t been abandoned, is because it`s a tradition. And has been that for over 500 years.
*** In Angloland, a Ghung equals 250 Sittles.
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